Oct 25 2009
Scary Halloween Costumes to Make The Creeps Flee: Scary is the Way to Go
Jason Voorhies Scary Halloween Costumes
Ah, hello again my pretties. So nice of you to visit my dark, enchanted lair. I think the time has come now, so gather closer dearies and we shall discuss scary Halloween costumes. Alright. That’s about close enough and who has their hand on my bum? Again? Sheesh, try to set a mood. Alright, back to the task at hand. Scary Halloween costumes are rated by me, rather arbitrarily with fangs. (Hey, I like vampires, so?) The more bonus points you get, the higher your costume score will be. For example a good three fang costume might give me the creeps and make me walk a little closer to you for protection. Pull off the old five fang costume and you just might have to get the jaws of life. Pay careful attention:
1. Vampires. I admit it, I am a sucker for a vampire. (Ack, puns? This early? That is not a good omen.)
Alright, to make the traditional vampire a scary Halloween costume, you actually have to look, feel and act the part. No vampires have ever been caught doing the Cabbage Patch to music from last decade. Vampires rarely dribble beer down their chin because they are trying to drink from a can. And, good vampires rarely wear sneakers. Start with a quality cape and work inward from there. You get bonus points if you have a cape with the starched, stand up collar, a la Bela Lugosi. You get even more bonus points if you skip the plastic fake fangs and spring for the glued in professional ones. These are so good you can actually talk and move around with them in. Do not go overboard with the fake blood either. Sophisticated vamps can imbibe their victims like a fine red wine. Potential fang score: with upgraded cape and pro fangs? Three fangs.
2. Michael Myers (Not to be confused with Mike Myers, adorable, if a little troll like actor)
There is something so creepy about that waxen, face mask that just makes this one super scary Halloween costume. You could pair this with anything, even a pink old pink tutu and come into the room en pointe and I would still get the willies. You want people to steer clear of you for most of the night? Wear this mask paired with the long trench coat and refuse to speak. Four fangs for this one.
3. Jason Voorheies
You know, there is something a little off about the idea of a murderous hockey fan- seriously. The worst we ever do in Detroit is whip octopi on the ice. No big deal, but old Jason, he spent some time at the bottom of the lake and came back with a monster case of skin rot, a nasty attitude and the need to hack to death as many frisky teens as he could poke, stab, fry or flambe. As a scary Halloween costume, there are a ton of variations, but nothing is more creepy than the traditional white old school hockey goalie mask and whatever odd implement o’ torture you can find. Two fangs.
4. Final one, the scariest of the scary Halloween costumes: Clowns. Need I say more?
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