Oct 14 2011
For the Love of Ducks, 70’s Dress Up and the Importance of Reading Things Correctly
Two women are invited to a party, a 70’s dress up party to be exact. They are both thrilled to death and are busy planning their costume so they don’t talk to one another quite as much as they usually do, which as it turns out is kind of tragic for the one gal. Not to be cruel, but this is shall we say, not the brightest crayon in the box, if you know what I mean. She tends to misread situations and sticks both feet into her mouth so often, that she has her fillings done by a podiatrist. She went to the dentist one time and he found a bunion. Okay, I think everyone gets it. Lovable but dumb, that’s her.
So, the one lady, the one who has full use of her brain, is going to be a disco queen, complete with the throwback skates and the hot pants. She is going to be a vision of shimmering and glittering material, glittered hair and funky nails. She even has a pair of wild, Elton John style sunglasses that she is going to wear. She has been hitting the high school track to practice her skating nearly every evening because she does not want to fall on her hot pants clad backside as soon as she gets to the party!
The other lady has been busy working on her costume but is not telling anyone what it might be. She has asked her mother some very strange questions from time to time, but poor mom just sighs and answers. Poor dear, nothing about her not so with it daughter shocks her any more.
The night of the 70’s dress up party finally comes and the two discuss whether they are coming together or if they will just meet at the party. The scatter brain has to stop by her apartment for something so she tells her friend that she will just meet her there. The party is swinging when the sexy skater girl arrives and everyone is pretty impressed with the roller boogie moves that she had worked so hard to perfect. They ask about her friend and she assures them that she is coming but that she had no idea of what she will be wearing.
The door opens and everyone stops what they are doing and stares. For just a few seconds, there is utter and complete silence as everyone takes in what has just come in to this 70’s dress up party. The airhead is wearing a gray haired wig, familiar in a way but no one is placing it just yet. She is wearing a track suit which is now covered in sparkles, spangles and colored gems. She has on little canvas tennis shoes in a matching color and her friends notice with a little gasp, she has bejeweled those as well. She certainly did put some work into the outfit, if nothing else.
Finally, the laughter erupts and her friend comes over to talk to her. She points out all of the people dressed in their 70’s dress up costumes, the roller girls, the hippies, the disco dancers, the Bee Gees, Abba. She gently puts her hand on her friends shoulder and trying desperately not to laugh, asks who the heck she is supposed to be and then waits for the answer, her lips clamped in preparation. The girl bats her eyes and says “I dressed like someone in their ‘70’s! I am Betty White! “
For the record, Betty White is 89 years old and quite possibly the funniest person in the entire world!
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